10 Healthy Ways to Cope With Failure

Many people will go to great lengths to avoid failing so they don’t have to feel painful emotions. Knowing how to deal with failure in a healthy way takes some of the fear out of it-and it might reduce the pain so you can bounce back better than before.

Embrace Your Emotions

Failure is accompanied by a variety of emotions: embarrassment, anxiety, anger, sadness, and shame, to name a few.

• Allow yourself to feel bad, it can help you work harder to find better solutions so that you’ll improve next time.

Research Famous Failures

Spend some time researching famous people who have failed

Create a Plan for Moving Forward

Dwelling on your problems or rehashing your mistakes will keep you stuck

• Focus on thinking, “I am capable of trying again.”
• Think about what you’ll do differently next time and create a plan that will help you put the information you gained into practice.

Face Your Fears of Failure

Step outside your comfort zone and do things that might get you rejected or try new things where you could fail.

Develop Realistic Thoughts About Failure

Reframe failure as a result of something specific and external rather than something internal

• Failure is a sign that you’re challenging yourself to do something difficult
• You can learn from your failures
• Try repeating phrases or affirmations to ward off negative thoughts or to reinforce to yourself that you can bounce back

Recognize Unhealthy Attempts to Reduce Pain

Minimizing your pain won’t make it go away, and filling the void you feel with food, drugs, or alcohol won’t either.

• Recognize the unhealthy ways you try to avoid or minimize pain in your life.

Accept an Appropriate Level of Responsibility

It’s important to accept an accurate level of responsibility for your failure.

Ask Yourself What You Can Learn

Failure can be a great teacher if you’re open to learning

Practice Healthy Coping Skills

Not every coping skill works for everyone, so it is important to find what does for you.

• Create a list of healthy coping skills and hang it in a prominent place. Then, use your list to remind yourself of the healthier strategies you can turn to when you’re feeling bad.

Acknowledge Irrational Beliefs About Failure

Irrational beliefs about failure are inaccurate and prevent you from doing things where you might not succeed.

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