Assertiveness is a skill that can be learned and honed. It's about expressing your thoughts and feelings confidently without infringing on the rights of others. Discover 11 strategies to boost your assertiveness and communicate more effectively.
Become more assertive
Take inventory of how you voice your thoughts and feelings
- Passive or aggressive communication styles
- If you have a passive style, you may allow the needs of others to come before your own
- This can lead to harmful resentment over time
- An aggressive style tramples on the rights of others
Practice scenarios
Speak up when you’d rather watch a movie at home instead of going out
- Let your partner know you won’t be able to do a specific errand
- Ask for a table that’s in a quieter area or near a window
- If you’re finding it hard to practice being more assertive, consider talking things out with a therapist for additional support
Finding Your Style
Passive: Say yes without thinking about it
- Aggressive: Say no without explaining your reasoning
- Assertive: Hype yourself up with positive thoughts of “I’ve got this” or “My time is important”
- Breathe deeply: Calm your breathing and ground yourself
Deep breathing exercise
When you feel yourself getting overwhelmed or losing focus, try this exercise: Inhale deeply through your nose, hold your breath, and count to 5. Slowly release your breath.
- Assertiveness and aggression are different: assertiveness is about stating your needs or requests in a respectful manner and within personal boundaries.
