Embracing criticism, disappointment, and defeat with grace is an art. Discover three healthier strategies to navigate these challenging experiences. Transform them into opportunities for growth, resilience, and self-improvement, without compromising your mental and emotional well-being.
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Julia Galef identifies two types of people: rigid types who crave certainty at all costs and open-minded types who are drawn to clarity and accuracy.
- Scouts are not invulnerable to fear, anxiety, insecurity, despair, or any of the other emotions that give rise to motivated reasoning, and they rely on coping strategies just like anyone else. They just take more care to select coping strategies that don’t mess with the accuracy of their judgment.
Focus on a different goal
Don’t settle. Your ability to see clearly is precious, and you should be reluctant to sacrifice it in exchange for emotional comfort.
- Instead, priding yourself on being an astute judge of programming talent can substitute for the original goal and prove to be helpful for hiring instead of counterproductive.
About the Author
Julia Galef is the host of the popular Rationally Speaking podcast, co-founded the Center for Applied Rationality, and consults for organizations such as OpenAI and the Open Philanthropy Project.
- Her TEDxPSU Talk “Why You Think You’re Right — Even If You’re Wrong” has been viewed nearly 5 million times.
Make a plan
Have a concrete plan for what you would do if the thing were true.
- It doesn’t have to be elaborate. A simple plan can go a long way toward making you feel like you don’t need to rely on denial to cope with reality.
Notice silver linings
A silver lining to any mistake is the lesson you’re going to extract from the experience, which you can use to help save you from similar mistakes in the future.
- The goal isn’t to convince yourself that your misfortune is actually a good thing, but rather to recognize a silver lining.
