Learning from other languages and cultures of gratitude, perhaps Americans can make “thank you” less casual and more heartfelt.
Not everyone says ‘thank you’
- In many cultures in South and Southeast Asia, including India, a deep degree of unspoken gratitude is assumed in interpersonal relationships
- In many relationships—for instance, between parents and children or between close friends—saying “thank you” is considered inappropriate in these countries because it introduces a sense of formality that takes away the intimacy of the relationship
The economic rhetoric of gratitude
- In American English, many of the expressions of gratitude are couched in transactional language that involves expressions of personal indebtedness
- Thinking of gratitude as a kind of transaction can indeed encourage people to form mutually beneficial relationships
- But if we were to enter into relationships only on the premise of what benefits us personally, and potentially materially, then it can be very limiting
Thanking Earth, sky, and community
Many Chinese people, for example, use the phrase “謝天,” or “xiè tiān,” which literally means “thank sky” as a way to express gratitude to all things under the sky.
In Taiwanese, people say “感心,” or “kám-sim,” which means “feel heart,” to express gratitude. In complimenting a good deed, the word is also meant to highlight how people who witness the act but do not directly benefit from it are touched by the benevolence.
