Unraveling the complexities of mending a fractured relationship, we delve into proven strategies and compassionate approaches. Discover how understanding, patience, and open communication can pave the path towards reconciliation and renewed connection.
The key ingredient to restoring harmony is the ability to empathize with the person you’ve offended
A simple exercise can give you the empathy you need to make your apology sincere and get things back on track
- People in relationships invariably behave in ways that can hurt each other, whether intentionally or not
- When the damage is unintentional, the chances are that people are motivated to patch things up but often may not know how to do so
- Years of research on reconciliation support the importance of issuing authentic and comprehensive apologies that can ultimately lead to forgiveness by the offended person
How to Offer an Apology That Will Work
The best way to make sure your apology works is to put yourself directly into the place of the person you offended.
- When thinking about what you would say, try to focus on how RD feels about the event. Try to imagine how this event has affected RD and how he or she feels as a result.
- See if your apology covers the full range of qualities that will make it comprehensive
Empathy As the Key to Successful Apologies
To produce an effective apology, you need to be able to empathize with the person you’ve offended
- An apology based on empathy begins with the ability to feel what the offended person is feeling
- Activating your memories and emotions associated with this event should help you become a little more sympathetic to your partner’s plight
Testing the Empathy-Apology Connection
The first two studies established that the best apologies came from participants who reported high levels of state empathy toward both a romantic partner (Study 1) and a friend (Study 2).
- Study 3 confirmed the previous two studies showing that, across a range of relationships and under explicit instructions to experience empathy or not, participants higher in empathy while writing their apologies were more thorough and sincere.
- An “empathy pathway” in the statistical findings supports the theory that being stimulated to feel empathy toward the victim of your offense can help you develop a higher quality apology.
