Emotional intelligence is, whether we like it or not, the real key to being happy. If we don’t know how to read our own emotions (and other people’s emotions), if we are strangers to our own hearts and lack social awareness that allows us to connect, manage fear, and be assertive, emotional intelligence is useless.
Four basic dimensions within Goleman’s approach to emotional intelligence
- The first is self-awareness. It refers to our ability to understand what we feel. To be connected to our values, to our essence.
- The second aspect is self-motivation and our ability to orient ourselves towards our goals, to recover from setbacks, to manage stress.
- The third has to do with social awareness and empathy.
- The fourth link is undoubtedly the philosopher’s stone of Emotional Intelligence: our ability to relate, to communicate, to reach agreements, to connect positively and respectfully with others.
Specifics on emotional intelligence
- We must detect the emotion behind each of our actions
- Control what you think in order to control how you behave
- Look for a reason behind the behaviour of others
- Express your emotions assertively
- Learn to self-motivate and fight for things that can bring you closer to true happiness
What actually is emotional intelligence?
It’s a way of seeing intelligence beyond its cognitive aspects (like memory and problem-solving). We are talking primarily of our capacity to effectively address others and ourselves, to connect with our emotions, to manage them, to self-motivate, to put the brakes on our impulses, to overcome frustrations.
Emotional Intelligence is learned and can be improved
Emotional Intelligence can be activated and deactivated, depending on the emotional and social environment we grow up in. Emotional Intelligence also has to do with the plasticity of our brain, where stimuli, continuous practice and systematic learning create changes and makes connections.
