Values are the ideals we strive to live by, especially when times are tough. Knowing our personal values can help us make better decisions in difficult circumstances, rather than going with our gut and hoping for the best. In this article, we’ll explore why values are important, as well as seven practical exercises to discover and clarify your own values.
What Are Personal Values?
Personal values are the guiding principles that help us live our lives well, especially when times are tough.
When we know what values are important to us, it becomes easier to make good decisions in the face of uncertainty or difficult emotions.
Digging Deeper with the Five Whys Technique
To determine your personal values, you can use the “Five Whys” technique, which involves asking yourself five “why” questions about a particular value – e.g. why is being healthy important to you?
This allows you to uncover a deeper-rooted answer, as well as more motivating reasons to stick to your resolutions.
Recruiting Friends and Family for Perspective
No one knows us better than our closest friends and family, so why not ask them for their perspective on our values?
Ask someone who knows you well what they think are your biggest or most important values and listen closely to what they have to say.
How to Discover Your Values
To uncover and clarify your personal values, start by reflecting on your journey so far.
Think about the experiences that have shaped you, the people that have influenced you, and the choices you’ve made.
Ask yourself questions like: What do I stand for?
What matters most to me?
What do I want to prioritize in my life?
The Power of a Bucket List
Another way to discover your personal values is to create a bucket list.
List out the things you want to do before you die and then look for patterns that suggest important values in your life.
For example, if you have many items on the list related to travel, this suggests that exploring new places is an important value.
Outcompeting Worry with Your Values
Procrastination can be a sign that you aren’t doing work that matters to you; discovering your values can help you focus on the things that do matter and make procrastinating less likely.
Identify what brings you joy and outcompete worry by having clear, compelling alternatives for your attention.
The Peter Thiel Question: Reflecting on Your Values
The Peter Thiel Question—What important truth do very few people agree with you on?—encourages us to really consider how many of our values are simply inherited without conscious reflection or consideration.
Writing it down on a sticky note or somewhere else prominent can be a great way to remind yourself to reflect on this question deeply over time.
Describe the 3 Happiest Days of Your Life
Try looking at the best times of your life for clues on what your values may be.
Reflect on the three happiest days of your life and try to remember as much as you can about these days.
Doing so can help you identify patterns that suggest which values may be most important to you.
Supercharging Your Goals with Your Values
Clarifying your personal values can supercharge your motivation for reaching your goals.
Make sure you know why you’re pursuing a goal and how it relates to what matters most to you – this will increase your consistency and dedication.
Flipping Your Frustrations
To uncover your personal values, try to identify what frustrates you in life and why.
Ask yourself what goal this frustration is stopping you from achieving, and then use that answer to discover what value it reflects.
Remember, these values don’t have to be important to anyone else – just to you!
