Unravel the complexities of toxic behavior and learn how to navigate through its murky waters. Discover the do's and don'ts that can help you maintain your sanity and emotional health while dealing with such challenging situations.
Key signs of toxicity
Self-absorption or self-centeredness
- Manipulation and other emotional abuse
- dishonesty and deceit
- Difficulty offering compassion to others
- A tendency to create drama or conflict
- People can change, but they have to be willing to put in the work to do so
- Dealing with someone’s toxic behavior can be exhausting
- You might value your relationship with this person, but don’t offer support at the risk of your own well-being
Work with a therapist
Therapists are trained to help people work through difficult situations like these and can offer compassionate, judgment-free support that fits your circumstances.
- Remember, their actions aren’t your fault nor your responsibility. It’s important they know what you’re not willing to tolerate.
Set boundaries
Decide what you will and won’t tolerate
- Communicate these boundaries clearly and stick to them
- Example: don’t mind listening to dramatic stories, but don’t engage in verbal abuse or gossip
- If someone is mocking another co-worker, leave the room or put on headphones
Don’t get personal
Be clear about how you are and aren’t willing to engage
Have an exit strategy
It is possible to leave politely
Stay grounded
Try grounding yourself with these tips: Breathe slowly and deeply, try relaxing your muscles instead of tensing them, silently repeat a calming mantra, and try to distract yourself with something or someone else if the situation allows it
- Close your eyes and visualize your favorite place
Change your routine
Switching up your routine can help you avoid getting pulled in to conversations you’d rather skip
- Try eating lunch somewhere besides the break room, wearing headphones, or reading a book.
- Avoiding family members can be harder. Try having a respectful but firm conversation about needing to focus on your studies.
Encourage them to get help
If you have a close relationship with someone who behaves in a toxic way, consider pointing out some harmful behaviors and explaining how they affect others (if you feel comfortable doing so). If they seem receptive, encourage them to talk to a therapist about why they act the way they do.
