It can be hard to know how to handle someone else’s difficult emotions. To help, here are five skills that you can use to effectively and respectfully handle other people’s bad moods. From spouses and bosses to parents, children and friends, these skills will be invaluable for every relationship in your life.
Get Curious About Their Emotions
Often when people experience strong emotions, we look to advice-giving as a quick fix.
But this is usually unhelpful and counterproductive.
Instead, try seeing their emotion as a puzzle and get curious about what could be going on in their mind.
Change your self-talk from moral judgments to curiosity questions.
Mirroring Emotions with Reflective Listening
Reflective listening is one strategy you can try when someone is feeling down.
This simply means reflecting back to them what they said, either literally or with your own spin on it.
This technique helps the individual feel like you truly understand them and are on their side.
Practicing Emotional Validation
It can be difficult to manage our own emotions when we’re dealing with someone else’s bad moods.
To help manage our reactions, we should practice emotional validation – acknowledging our own emotions and reminding ourselves that they’re okay and reasonable even if uncomfortable.
Practice Reverse Empathy
Empathy is key for managing other people’s bad moods, but try “reverse empathy” too – looking back on a time when you experienced the same difficult emotions.
Remembering your own experience will help you relate more easily and understand what they’re going through.
Knowing What You’re Responsible For
We should be aware of not overextending our responsibility for how someone else feels since we can’t control emotions directly.
Instead, focus on what you can control – your behaviour, thoughts and actions – and be clear about what you’re responsible for.
Step Away From Fix-It Mode
Fix-it mode is a common mistake – instead of trying to alleviate or eliminate the person’s suffering, focus on helping them feel understood.
Reflective listening is one way to do this – mirroring back what they have said to show understanding and validate their feelings.
