How Do I Comfort A Friend Who Lost a Loved One?
Loss is a universal experience, yet it's uniquely personal. When a friend is grieving, finding the right words can be challenging. Let's explore compassionate ways to offer comfort and support, helping them navigate through this difficult time.
It is better to say something rather than nothing and to express empathy instead of sympathy
Most people enduring the tiring and lonely experience of grief benefit from expressions that are more empathetic than sympathetic
- Generally, people prefer to be understood rather than pitied
- What is needed in these situations is less about what is said and more about being there to help hold space for the grief
Some things to avoid saying and doing
“I totally know what you’re going through. I went through this with______.”
- The reality is that we can never know exactly, and it shifts the attention from the person in pain to ourselves
- Did the doctors and you try everything to save him/her?”
- Try instead to offer something very concrete and very specific that you know you can do.
Some things that might be helpful to say and do:
Don’t worry about bringing up this loss unless for some reason the person has already indicated they don’t want to talk about it at all.
- Offer to visit with the person and to help make phone calls, sort through clothing and other belongings of the deceased person, run errands, provide rides, etc.
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