Ever wondered about the optimal number of partners to date before finding 'the one'? The 37% rule, a fascinating mathematical principle, might just hold the answer. Let's delve into this intriguing concept and its potential application to your love life.

The optimal stopping problem:

When trying to pick the best among many options, how many samples should you try before you commit?

  • Mathematicians tell us that, to maximize the chances of the best outcome, we ought to ditch the first 37% of any options.
  • In psychology, people tend to either “explore” or “exploit” more. How many people should you date before settling down?
  • It’s a problem that bridges mathematics and psychology.

Relationships aren’t like that

The world of interpersonal relations is hard to put a number on. Probabilities and game theory do funny things when you input the wobbly, fuzzy variables at play in human behavior.

  • 37% rule: experience a variety of different dates and familiarize yourself with a range of personality types before settling down
  • One date is never enough: 10 or 100 dates is not enough to reveal someone’s true character

The 37% rule

The basic idea is that, if you need to make a decision from 100 different options, you should sample and discard (or hold off on) the first 37.

  • If any subsequent options beat that benchmark standard, then you should stick with that option to get the best ultimate outcome.

Exploit or explore

In psychology and economics, there is a “explore/exploit” tradeoff: whether you should go with a guaranteed “win” or risk going somewhere else for an unknown outcome (explore).

  • The degree to which someone will explore or exploit will depend on a host of factors, and it ties in with how curious or risk-seeking they are.
  • According to research by Addicott et al., published in Nature, the extremes of being too explorative or too exploitative leave us disadvantaged. The most advantageous behaviors occurring around a point of balance between the two.

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