A hundred years ago, we read stories of how families were larger, how kids were to speak only when spoken to, and how parents enjoyed a more influential voice in their teens’ lives. Over time, life changed. Now, parents have more control over their children’s lives than ever.
The Role of Information
Mass communication played an expanding role in changing families and homes over the last century.
- Radio became common in homes around the 1930s, records followed in the 1950s and 60s, and television was born in 1955
- Today, peers and media (even social media) enjoy a larger percentage of influence in a teen’s life than parents do
Four Phases of Raising Kids
Discipline Phase (Ages 1-5). This is when children learn boundaries.
- Training Phase (Age 6-12). Children learn to initiate good behavior
- Coaching Phase (age 13-21). Children guide their own decision making
- Friendship Phase (ages 22 and up). This includes the fruit of love and respect.
Three Steps to Take
Ensure your voice is a large one, by placing boundaries on media, guiding choices, and offering autonomy to adolescents as they earn trust
- Place a priority on honoring people and valuing relationships
- Determine you’ll gain their respect more than their love
- Parenting is not a popularity contest
From Control to Connection
As Baby Boomers became parents, they determined they didn’t want the same challenges they had with their parents
- In response, they chose to buddy up with their children
- Traded the pursuit of control for a pursuit of connection
- Many millennials remain close to their parents well into their adult years
The Key: An Intentional Balancing Act
With more voices to compete against in our children’s lives, we cannot leave our input to chance
- We must intentionally balance the pursuit of connection with the art of direction
- Pursuit of connection: You prioritize the relationship, the trust, the listening, and the safety
- Art of direction: Guide your children into what and how to think and act
