Financial constraints should never be a barrier to maintaining healthy relationships. Discover the art of declining invitations with dignity, without compromising your financial stability or personal relationships.

In her new memoir, We Need to Talk About Money, Otegha Uwagba offers advice on becoming more financially transparent with friends, overcoming social taboos over money, and how to cope with expensive social plans as we emerge from the pandemic.

She writes about her own money anxieties, especially growing up without much money but going to school with lots of people who were quite wealthy and could afford to do stuff that she couldn’t.

What do you do when people get defensive about money, or react badly when you’re being transparent about it?

It’s good to expect a bit of irrationality around money.

  • Understand why people respond in the ways they do and become prickly and defensive when money comes up.

You’ve written a lot about how to create boundaries with friends around what you’re willing to spend, socially.

The easiest way to overspend or to spend your money in ways you’re not happy with is to not have a clear framework of what you should be spending and what you are saving for

  • It’s important to have friends who are in similar financial situations to you so that you can talk about things honestly and relate to somebody who can relate
  • You need people who have shared experiences with you as it relates to money.

Everyone wants to go out and do stuff.

You just need to have a realistic framework

  • If you go out to dinner, don’t lie to yourself about how much it will cost
  • Get comfortable with saying, “I can’t afford this right now,” or “That’s not in my budget now,”

Source