How to make people like you – virtually

Mastering the art of virtual charisma is no small feat. It's about more than just a friendly smile or a well-timed joke. It's about understanding, empathy, and connection. Let's delve into the secrets of making people like you in the digital world.

It’s easy to make people like you in a normal office

But how can you charm colleagues and clients via video link?

• You’re on a work call, telling some colleagues the story of that time you accidentally blew up the kitchen.
• Out of the blue, your connection fails. By the time you re-join the meeting, the conversation has moved on.

How can we make colleagues, or indeed business partners and clients, like us in the new virtual world of work?

Smile

• Dale Carnegie wrote a book called How to Win Friends and Influence People in 1936
• If you seem pleased to someone, they will be pleased to see you
• On a video chat, you can charm 10 or 20 people at the price of one smile

Tell stories

Facts are 22x more memorable when presented in a story form

• The first step to capturing attention is capturing the attention of someone
• Once they’re hooked, you can work on demonstrating how funny, clever, or interesting you are
• An easy way to improve your storytelling is to throw in sensory information or make comparisons

Find common ground

Though video chatting is surprisingly tiring, there really is no excuse for looking bored or fed up.

• Boothman recommends preparing for virtual meetings as you would for any other
• This often means starting with online research
• Find out what their history is and what interests or motivates them
• Get to know the software you are using
• For team drinks, Boothman suggests adding a virtual background

In a world where people are being made redundant over Zoom – and worse, email – and your next face-to-face meeting with your boss might not be until 2021, it can feel like we’re increasingly de-humanized, reduced to an email signature or a job title.

Boothman and Hogshead agree that it’s eminently possible over Zoom- it’s just different.

Give people credit for their achievements

This makes them feel seen and appreciated and endears them to you.

• Do not tell people what they did wrong, instead, highlight their accomplishments. This endears you to them and makes them want to do more of the same.

Avoid ultra-common compliments

Acknowledge them in a way that is not so obvious that they don’t hear it all the time

• Don’t be flattered, it doesn’t build a connection
• Avoid compliments that don’t have much of an impact, like compliments on your husband’s eyes

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