Introverts can be introverted or extroverts, and there are plenty of ways to find out where you fit in the personality spectrum. Here are some tips to help you find your place in the spectrum of introvert vs. extrovert these days, in which case this breakdown should help.
Be Confident in Who You Are
Embrace your uniqueness and take pride in who you are.
- Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, says it’s important for introverts to engage in group activities from a place of self-acceptance rather than self-consciousness.
Go deeper
One meaningful conversation can easily fill an introvert’s “social bucket” and sustain them for days or even weeks.
- Take a chance and ask a bold open-ended question or peel back the mask of your own pleasantries to reveal an honest struggle, passion or dream.
Become what you behold
Use your observational skills to notice what social behaviors they would like to emulate.
The more present you are, the less awkward you will feel
Be fully present in whatever conversation you are in.
- No two introverts are the same. Some experience shyness and social anxiety, while others do not.
- There is no right way to be an introvert, just the right way.
Go to work functions and leave early
You get points for showing up and people don’t mind if you leave early.
- This is a helpful social coping mechanism for those who struggle with shyness
- Overcoming shyness is exposing yourself to the thing you fear in very small doses.
Step outside your comfort zone, then refuel
Referencing personality psychologist and Cambridge University professor Dr. Brian Little for this tip, Cain recommends introverts identify the people and projects they care about and stretch themselves socially in the service of those things.
- Afterwards, give yourself what Little calls a “restorative niche” – a space to recharge yourself after an activity that takes a toll.
Ask easy-to-answer questions and bring up topics you’re into
The upside of taking more responsibility in social interactions is that the introvert can pick the people-and topics-that they find interesting, thus reducing the risk of becoming bored and wishing to withdraw
- Granneman.
Try filming yourself.
Two to three minutes of recording yourself in an environment you seek to grow in, running potential lines for a job interview, or just chatting with a friend about a topic that really interests you can provide a world of useful feedback for you to work with.
Plan conversation starters ahead of time
Think of topics you might want to discuss before your next wedding or networking event and reframe your perspective on your role there.
- Introverts take on the job of making the other person feel comfortable
- Shift your focus to ‘What can I give to the audience?’
Try to befriend an extrovert at work
They tend to attract each other as partners, friends, and colleagues.
- Be strategic about which extroverted coworkers you seek out. Pick the ones you think you’ll most enjoy or give you a boost professionally.
