Perfectionism is one of those traits people typically see as a positive, but underneath it is often self-defeating thoughts and emotions, low self-esteem, stress, and chronic anxiety, which make it harder to achieve your goals. And, if I’m being honest here, it makes it easier to function in general.
Perfectionism
It’s the unhealthy belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable
- A combo of excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations, it sets you up for feeling shame, judgement, and blame, which ultimately leads to more debilitating, self-defeating thoughts
How to Overcome a Perfectionist Mindset
Check Your Motivations
- Label your fear
- Write down 3-5 of the biggest fears you have about yourself or your abilities, then choose the one you feel is your biggest obstacle
- Don’t compare
- Practice being mindful that these are curated moments and that everyone – even the people with a million followers – have plenty of imperfections
- Set realistic goals
- Give yourself credit
- Regularly giving yourself praise, and allowing yourself to receive it, helps build your self-validation muscle
- Loosen Your Grip
- Ask yourself if the situation is really as irritating as it feels, if it matters if it is, and if you need to control everything about it
Are You a Perfectionist?
Demanding a flawless performance from yourself or others, getting bogged down in the details, and believing wholeheartedly that anything less than perfect is unacceptable is not only extremely draining, it can lead to serious mental, emotional, and physical ramifications, from anxiety, depression, and burnout to heart disease and high blood pressure.
- Break the cycle
- Check your motivations
- Label your fear
- Don’t compare
- Set realistic goals
- Give yourself credit
- Loosen your grip
Perfectionism Traits
Procrastination
- Fear of Failure
- Results-Focused
- Overthinking
- Unrealistic Standards
- All-or-Nothing Thinking
- Low Self-Esteem
- Have a Hard Time Receiving Compliments
- Celebrating Successes Need Outside Validation
What Causes Perfectionism?
Researchers say it stems from the belief that your self-worth is based on your accomplishments
- College students are feeling the pressure to perfect themselves in comparison to others, which leads to body and financial dissatisfaction, unattainable education and career goals, and a myriad of other issues all centered around lack.
