Unplanned chats with your boss can often lead to stress and anxiety. But, with the right approach and mindset, these conversations can be turned into opportunities for growth and understanding. Let's delve into strategies to handle such situations effectively.
Can we talk?”
An unexpected meeting can take even the most self-assured leader aback
- The human brain is naturally wired to expect the worst in the face of ambiguity and uncertainty
- This tendency is especially strong in those “sensitive strivers” or those high-achievers who also identify as highly sensitive
- While it’s impossible to completely predict and control your boss’s behavior, it is possible to quell the stress and anxiety that comes along with unanticipated requests
Reach out instead of retreating
When you’re flustered, it’s easy to make up stories as to your boss’s intentions and to retreat into your own head. Make it a point to do the opposite.
- Instead of recoiling, reach out to my boss to clarify the agenda for the meeting. Ask if there is something specific you can prepare or come ready to speak to.
Prepare your talk track
One of the best ways to deal with the anxiety of the unexpected is through rehearsal, so arrive at the meeting with some talking points prepared
- Diplomatically defer if you don’t have an answer to your boss’s questions or concerns
- A general framework to follow when you’re caught off guard
Ground yourself
One simple way to get back in the driver’s seat is with a mindfulness technique called grounding.
- Grounding exercises impact nerves in your brain’s arousal center and activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for rest and recovery and is the opposite of a stress response.
Expand your mind
Your panicked reaction is made worse by your automatic negative thoughts about the meeting
- To counter cognitive distortions, try mental restructuring
- Look at your hand and brainstorm alternate explanations for why your boss may be calling you
- For example, perhaps your boss has a question about a project you’re working on.
