Feelings of romantic inferiority can be a labyrinth of self-doubt and confusion. Let's delve into understanding these emotions, their roots, and how to navigate through them towards a healthier self-perception and more fulfilling relationships.
One partner’s ongoing success can damage the quality of the relationship
Successful men often choose to marry women who are marginally more successful than they are, but not significantly more successful.
- Inequality is exciting in a short-term love affair and even increases sexual desire, like many differences do. In the long-term, it may become an obstacle to experiencing enduring meaningful, shared activities
Inequality in Romantic Relationships
While chronic inequality is harmful for the relationships, dynamic power changes can maintain equality
- Two people, even those quite similar, will change throughout their lives, and this is fine as long as an equality in status and in decision-making is kept
- Those who are looking for a partner who is superior or inferior to them may suffer from low self-esteem and the need to glorify themselves
- People are aware of their own position in the hierarchy and adjust their seeking behavior accordingly, while competing modestly for more desirable mates
Why Competition Is Harmful in Relationships
The biblical claim that “writers’ envy increases wisdom” assumes that competition makes people learn and improve
- In romantic relationships, the situation is more complex and in most instances, competition is fatal
- Profound love involves kindness, generosity and sympathetic joy for the beloved’s success. People do not envy their children’s success – they are happy and consider themselves part of that success.
Development and Self-Fulfillment in Romantic Relationships
Shared personal development significantly increases the passion of both partners and the relationship’s quality
- Positive personal development, which is not associated with one’s partner, also enhances passion in the relationship
- A growing and enduring personal development of only one partner reduces their passion and level of satisfaction, as well as the intimacy and closeness between the partners
- Chronic personal self-expansion may be a double-edged sword for individual wellbeing
