“Never Go to Bed Angry:” The Pros and Cons of This Practice

“Never go to bed angry” is advice you’re likely to hear while they’re persuading you to reach out to the person you’ve argued with. This article explores the psychological implications of this practice and discusses whether you should follow it.Never Go to Bed Angry: The Psychological Implications

Benefits of This Practice

It can help neutralize the situation and preserve your energy

If you resolve your differences with the person you’re arguing with, you can direct your energy toward reconciling with them instead
This can help you reconnect with them and feel close to them again

Anger Can Build Overnight

Take your anger to bed with you so you don’t dwell on it and make it into a bigger issue

This can cause you to feel worse and drag the problem into the next day
A 2016 study found that sleeping on an issue overnight changes the way your brain organizes it in your memory, making it harder to reverse negative associations and memories

Should You Follow This Rule?

The “Never go to bed angry” rule does not work in a one-size-fits all manner. Whether or not you should follow it depends on many factors, such as the cause of your anger, your temperament, and the circumstances.

If you’re having a disagreement or an argument with a loved one, Dr. Romanoff outlines some steps you can follow:
Communicate
Use your anger as a guide
Commit to finding a resolution
Seek support and comfort

Anger Can Disrupt Your Sleep

Being angry at night can disrupt your sleep.

It’s important to remember that anger isn’t helping you or making you ‘win’ in a given situation. In the end, your anger does far more harm to you than to the other person, robbing you of your peace and sleep.

A Word From Verywell

If you’re having an argument or conflict with a loved one, you may have to decide between holding on to your anger or letting go for the sake of never going to bed angry.

Check with the other person and see whether you can reach a resolution with them-this can help both of you release your anger and move forward, instead of carrying the negativity forward to the next day.
Take some time to cool off, get a fresh perspective, and come back to the issue when you’re feeling calmer.

Anger Can Cause You to React Impulsively

Taking space and committing to revisiting the situation at a later time when your anger levels have reduced can be productive in some situations.

The intensity of your emotions may reduce with time and not acting impulsively in the moment can allow you to respond more effectively once your anger has subsided