“Nobody Likes Me:” Understanding Loneliness and Self-shame
Loneliness and self-shame can be a heavy burden, often whispered in the phrase, "Nobody likes me." Unravel the complexities of these emotions, their roots, and potential coping strategies, as we delve into the human psyche's less-traveled paths.
The most common critical thought people have toward themselves is that they are not like other people
While we may feel alone in thinking “nobody likes me,” we actually have that in common with a staggering number of people in the world.
- Moreover, what most of us who feel this sense of isolation also fail to realize is that the reason behind it has much less to do with our external circumstances and everything to deal with an internal critic we all possess.
Dealing with Isolation and Loneliness
In order to challenge our loneliness, we have to challenge the negative filter through which we see ourselves and the world around us.
- If we start to see the world as threatening or not accepting of us, we are much more likely to act in ways that push away or alienate others.
Overcoming the Critical Inner Voice
Get to know what your inner critic is telling you
- Think about where these critical attitudes come from
- Talk back to your critical inner voice
- Actively try to divert your mind and start to notice how this voice influences your behavior
- Adopt a compassionate and realistic response to your voice attack
- Challenge the psychological defenses that limit…
What is our “critical inner voice”?
The critical inner voice reminds us constantly that we aren’t good enough and don’t deserve what we want.
- It shuts us up in social situations, makes us nervous, so we don’t act like ourselves, and bends us into believing every negative thought about ourselves that this voice has said to us.
Where does the “voice” that “nobody likes me” come from?
The critical inner voice starts to take shape early in our lives
- It’s built out of any hurtful negative attitudes that we were exposed to in childhood, especially from significant caretakers
- We also tend to be influenced by how our parents felt toward themselves
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