Intro: Knowing how to handle other people’s difficult emotions is a valuable skill that can be used in all relationships. In this article, we explore five techniques to help you effectively and respectfully manage other people’s moods, from reverse empathy to reflective listening.
Seeing Emotions as a Puzzle
Instead of seeing someone’s emotions as a problem that needs to be solved, view it as a puzzle. This shift in perspective will help you become more curious, validating, understanding and empathetic, which is what most people experiencing strong emotion really want.
Understanding with Reflective Listening
Reflective listening is a powerful tool to use when someone has a bad mood. It involves reflecting back what they said either literally or with your own spin on it. This works because it shows the other person that you understand how they feel, giving them connection and comfort.
Managing Your Own Emotions with Validation
It’s also important to manage our own emotional responses to keep them from getting out of control. Emotional validation involves acknowledging our own emotions and accepting that they are valid and reasonable even if uncomfortable. This helps us stay calm and effective instead of reactive and impulsive in the face of other people’s bad moods.
Reverse Empathy
To better understand someone else’s difficult emotions, practice reverse empathy. Instead of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, try to remember a time when you wore the same shoes. Try to recall a time when you struggled with similar emotions and mood, and think about what happened to get you that way and what you wanted or needed.
Stop Trying to Fix It
The number one mistake people make is getting stuck in fix-it mode. People who are struggling emotionally do not want to be fixed; they want to feel understood. Get out of a fix-it mindset and start helping people feel understood by practicing a technique called reflective listening.
