Gratitude and employment, two seemingly disparate concepts, often intertwine in our lives. But should we be thankful for our jobs? Let's delve into the complexities of this question, exploring the psychological, societal, and personal perspectives that shape our understanding of gratitude in the workplace.
Is Gratitude a misguided emotion?
One of the most pervasive conversations around jobs is that we should be thankful to be hired, especially when competition for a position is fierce.
- Candidates are expected to express gratitude if they want the job, but some of that gratitude may be misplaced
- Research consistently associates giving thanks with increased happiness, but it may also make you more willing to put up with a situation that makes you unhappy
Workers who expect to be hired or promoted may express less gratitude than those without systemic advantages
This is often the case for white men, who experience more upward mobility than other groups, and less bias that prevents them from securing jobs, or getting interviews in the first place.
- Imposter syndrome may also play a part: workers who aren’t confident they deserve their roles may develop feelings of unworthiness, despite being qualified or skilled
Embracing the ‘grey zone’
While it is natural to feel grateful to be employed, the same person is also allowed to have valid complaints about their job.
- We have these black-and-white ideas when it comes to emotions. It’s really OK to have more than one emotion at the same time.
Americans especially feel the obligation to be grateful
In an individualistic culture like the US, the smallest favours may be taken as a huge boon.
- Studies show that Americans say “thank you” more often than people in other countries, and in situations others wouldn’t deem deserving of gratitude.
Gratitude is only appropriate when a person or company is truly acting altruistically
Three basic criteria: are they doing it for me, is it valuable to me, and is it costly for them
- If your employer really does deserve your thanks, it’s likely to make you more content in your job overall, and take steps to change your situation.
The economic effects of the Covid-19 pandemic do alter the equation a bit
It makes sense that an employer should be thankful for employees working more hours than usual to keep a suffering business afloat, and that employees would feel gratitude for a boss who didn’t let them go when profits fell.
- However, other expressions of thanks, like the kind many workers feel pressured to exhibit right now, are not authentic and may backfire
- Forced, phony gratitude can backfire because we may begin using a tactic Greenberg calls “gratitude bypassing” to avoid other negative emotions
- Suppressing or avoiding negative feelings isn’t healthy
- Bypassing and avoidance only offer a temporary solution
- If you’re telling yourself you feel grateful, when “actually what you’re feeling is stress, fear, exhaustion or sadness”, you could be ignoring the emotions that alert you that something is wrong
The employer advantage
Misplaced gratitude could lead to mistreatment from employers who know their workers won’t complain or leave due to job-shortage concerns.
- If you’re doing a job you enjoy, you may feel increased pressure to express gratitude to your employer, however misdirected it may be.
