Simple Things You Can Do to Become a Better Listener | Carolyn Coughlin | Knowledge Project Podcast
In this episode of The Knowledge Project Podcast, Carolyn Coughlin, a renowned executive coach and leadership development specialist, shares her insights on the art of listening, the power of language, and the concept of Adult Development Theory.
She also discusses the impact of remote work on team dynamics and the importance of understanding different perspectives.
The Importance of Connection in Leadership
Connection, referring to the relationships between people, the impact we have on others, and the trust we build, is crucial in leadership.
Seeing ourselves as interconnected with others can lead to more effective leadership.
Leaders are encouraged to actively seek out perspectives that are not only different from their own but may even be threatening to their own.
Understanding Adult Development Theory
Adult Development Theory describes how our sense-making evolves as we mature into adulthood.
Even when we physically appear as adults, our understanding of ourselves and the world continues to evolve.
This concept provides a roadmap to understand how our sense-making has changed and how it might change in the future.
The Power of Small Shifts
Small shifts in how we see ourselves or describe ourselves can have a big impact on our performance and wellbeing.
By changing our language, we can start to change our beliefs and behaviors.
Identity-Based Hierarchy and Its Implications
Identity-based hierarchy, where we unconsciously place ourselves higher or lower than others based on our actions and values, can create a sense of separation between us and others.
This can be detrimental in situations that require trust and collaboration.
When people feel really, really truly seen and heard, it’s one of the most extraordinary experiences that a person can have. – Carolyn Coughlin
The Power of Deep Listening
Deep listening is a powerful tool that can create extraordinary experiences.
When people feel genuinely seen and heard, it can influence them to listen more attentively to others.
This level of listening goes beyond the surface and requires understanding the underlying patterns, dynamics, and unspoken messages.
The Role of Language in Shaping Perception
The language we use significantly influences our perception of our actions and responsibilities.
Using phrases like ‘I choose to’ can cultivate a sense of agency and control over our decisions.
This shift in language can eventually lead to a change in how we perceive our choices, making us feel more empowered.
The Impact of Remote Work on Team Dynamics
Remote work can inadvertently create echo chambers, as we have more control over what we let in and what we don’t.
This can lead to a lack of exposure to different perspectives and potentially contribute to political extremes.
However, mechanisms can be developed to ensure frequent and deep connections among team members in a remote setting.
Our language is not just an expression of our meaning-making but it also shapes our meaning-making. – Carolyn Coughlin
Creating Conditions for Success
In the context of complexity theory, creating conditions for success means understanding the current patterns of a complex system and then making changes that disrupt these patterns and create new ones.
This approach acknowledges that change in complex systems can’t be forced, but conditions can be created that make change more likely.
The Role of Language in Shaping Identity
The way we talk about ourselves can influence our habits and behaviors.
For instance, consistently saying ‘I am a person who goes to the gym’ can nudge us towards becoming that person.
Our language is not just an expression of our meaning-making but it also shapes our meaning-making.
The Importance of Perspective-Taking
Perspective-taking involves visualizing ourselves in the future and thinking about what we want our lives to look like, then working backwards from that.
It can provide a different view on our lives and help us understand and respect different perspectives, especially those that may challenge our own.
The Impact of Monolithic Narratives
Monolithic narratives or limiting beliefs that we hold about ourselves or others can be expressed through our language and can limit our progress.
For example, saying ‘I never seem to get my voice heard’ can reinforce a belief that we are powerless or overlooked.
Work-Life Balance as a Mosaic
The concept of work-life balance is more accurately represented as a ‘mosaic’ rather than a static balance point.
This metaphor allows for the fluidity and complexity of life’s competing demands.
Different aspects of our lives can take on different shapes and sizes at different times, but are always present and receiving some attention.
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