Staying Authentic When Those Around You Are Not
It can be challenging to hold onto your authenticity when you are around people who seem fake. A fake laugh, unreasonably bubbly personality, or tone of voice that is incongruous with what is going on can be more than just off-putting; it can influence interactions and really throw us off
Why Does the Lack of Authenticity Impact Us?
Dealing with inauthentic people very much impacts our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
- We learn a lot about people with the subtle, unspoken cues we receive during a conversation
- When we are faced with fake behavior, we don’t know what to do with it
- Are they hiding something? Can I trust them? Do I need to watch my back or be careful of what I say?
Stay grounded and centered
Set aside some time alone to reconnect with yourself and try some mindfulness exercises
- Close your eyes and center yourself with deep breathing; notice the physical sensations of your body
- Engage with your senses and listen to the sounds and smells
- Let your face, neck, and shoulders relax
Show compassion
If you are feeling brave, ask the person who is struggling with authenticity a few compassionate questions or comments
- This works best if it is a one-on-one situation, to avoid putting them on the spot or potentially embarrassing them
- Even asking simple questions such as “how are you, really?” can make room for authenticity
Don’t take their difficulty personally
When people struggle with being authentic, it is usually a reflection of their own relationship with themselves.
- There may be some underlying social anxiety, fear of judgment, or other reasons for the struggle, none of which is connected to interacting with you specifically.
Think about authenticity as a skill
It is easier to put on whatever mask seems fitting for the situation and show the world what you think they want to see.
- Showing up as yourself, without social masking, is brave, and this is not something that comes easily to some people.
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