“The Eight Paradoxes of Great Leadership” is a book by Tim Elmore that explores the paradoxical demands of today’s workplace and offers insights and strategies for successful leadership . It was published in 2021 by HarperCollins Leadership.
The book emphasizes the importance of emotional and social intelligence, collaboration, and adaptability in a constantly changing business environment. It has received positive reviews for its practical advice and real-world examples.
How uncommon leaders handle conflict
- When in conflict with team members, be willing to lose a few battles to win the war. Predetermine what “hills you’re willing to die on.”
- Remain teachable in new contexts, even from those under your care. Don’t let your confidence prevent you from improving your own ideas.
- Refuse to cross the line between confidence and cockiness. Confidence believes you can do the job. Cockiness believes it will be easy
Paradox Eight: Uncommon Leaders Are Both Timely and Timeless
Uncommon leaders in the twenty-first century must balance this very difficult paradox. First, they must embrace and advance timeless principles that make for lasting success; values that have stood the test of time and worked in all generations and in every context.
At the same time, these leaders must leverage culturally relevant methods and futuristic resources. They use what is cultural to say what is evergreen. Their core identity is ageless, but their mode of operation is cutting edge and sets the pace for others.
Paradox Seven: Uncommon Leaders Model Both High Standards and Gracious Forgiveness
Our world today places all leaders under a microscope. Everything is scrutinized, filmed, and posted on social media, with viewers constantly leaving “likes” or “dislikes,” comments and judgments. In this way, most of us feel like we are being voted upon continually.
We are all aware of how quickly opinions travel and how one bad move can equal a trial by the jury of “public opinion.” Many a CEO, college president, or athletic coach have lost their jobs after one seemingly innocuous decision that wasn’t aligned with public opinion. Too often, a leader’s response is to become a sort of politician. It dilutes genuine leadership.
Handle uncertainty with humility but don’t let it become sheepishness
- Don’t confuse confidence with certainty. As a leader, you’ll frequently have to take action without certainty. Even when uncertain, remain clear and transparent.
- Don’t let humility become sheepishness. When we’re sheepish, we are self-conscious and preoccupied with our own weaknesses. This keeps us from making progress.
- As you meet with teammates, you must know what you don’t know and trust in what you do. Be clear on the difference between the two.
Paradox three: uncommon leaders embrace both visibility and invisibility
Evaluate values and create three actionable steps to model them. Notice where team members lack and show ways to rise. Be visible where it is vital to accelerate the mission. Show and tell; don’t just tell. Identify members to step up and step back to let them. Move from visible to invisible leadership in your comfort zone. Discuss obstacles with your accountability partner.
Take the big “IDEA” and list steps you can take to embody each word: instruction, demonstration, experience, and assessment. Then, follow through.
Paradoxical leadership in a complex age
Leading in the twenty-first century is, indeed, more complex than it was in past centuries. Leadership is seldom easy, but today it affords us the challenge of collaborating with a more educated, more entitled, and more savvy population that has greater expectations of satisfaction and rewards than in past generations.
Uncommon leaders stand out because they are able to juggle seemingly contradictory traits to lead such people.
They balance paradoxes that make them worth following. Their paradoxical qualities are conspicuous, as they require not just intelligence but the differentiating qualities of emotional intelligence, social intelligence, and moral intelligence. In the words of Adam Saenz, they are “street smart,” “book smart,” and “heart smart.”
The emotional edge
Uncommon leaders rise to challenges, read team members’ nuances, weigh opposing views, and recognize life’s tensions. People crave uncommon leaders who are socially and emotionally intelligent and practice paradoxes to gain insight and achieve goals. These “wise leaders” are essential in a world drowning in information and starving for wisdom.
The first paradox contd: confidence and humility
Confidence plus humility furnish the energy of certainty and the flexibility of teachability needed to create synergy in partnerships. Bob Iger found this to be true in his interactions with George Lucas (when he purchased Lucasfilm), with Ike Perlmutter (when he bought Marvel), and with Steve Jobs (when he bought Pixar).
Bob was a learner but brought to the table enough confidence—even audacity—to make the pitch to these CEOs. Only confidence, even self-confidence, can catapult a leader from average to extraordinary.
When in decision-making meetings, argue as if you believe you’re right, but listen as if you believe you’re wrong.
Practice reverse mentoring
Launch an exercise with your team: “Start, Stop, and Keep Doing.” Annually, leaders can meet with their teams to hear what teammates want them to begin doing, what they want them to stop doing, and what it is that they should continue doing.
Paradox five: uncommon leaders are both deeply personal and inherently collective
People expect more from a leader today, especially during times of hardship. In one sense, the leader becomes much more of a public figure or representative of the people. One who speaks for them, feels with them, and offers a wise response in that context
People need big-picture vision from their leader, someone who grasps the gravity of what’s happened and the steps required to respond to it. At the same time, people need a leader who empathizes with their personal journey, someone who understands how the struggle feels to individuals and who articulates the vision with a personal touch.
Paradox four: uncommon leaders are both stubborn and open-minded
- This balancing act is not easy. When leaders do practice it, however, they become uncommon and extremely attractive to other strong leaders. You will attract the best people when you master it.
- When you’re feeling stubborn, think of your “worst” and their “best.” Picture yourself on your worst day and the other person on their best day. This enables me to stay open, to welcome contrary points of view, and to keep learning even from younger staff.
- Start sentences with “I’d be interested to know…” or “Yes, and…” instead of “Yeah, but…” or “Let me give you the context for that decision…” Use language that enables you to make your point but invites others’ input. It is vocabulary that keeps the volley going instead of shutting down interaction. It has to be safe.
Paradox two: uncommon leaders leverage both their vision and their blind spots
Uncommon leaders leverage vision and blind spots. They need a clear target but also to maintain energy by not seeing all obstacles. “Marry” the problem, “date” methods, and invite outside perspectives.
Learn from poor decisions and experienced leaders. Balance self-doubt and self-confidence, and keep reminders of the central vision in view. Assess what needs improvement, an overhaul, or to be let go. Lead in a balanced community for emotional and social health.
Uncommon practices
- Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.
- Practice active listening before you say anything.
- Be intentional about paying close attention to what’s around you.
- Seek to add value to each person with whom you interact.
- Pursue a new relationship connection every week.
- For each collective message you must offer, add a personal one that’s relevant.
Paradox Six: uncommon leaders are both teachers and learners
In our day of unceasing change, leaders are forced to be teachers, and organizations are forced to adapt. Michael Josephson said, “Great leaders are teachers, not tyrants.” They help their followers see and understand more.
“They inspire them to become more and motivate them to do more.” To do this, however, these leaders must first and foremost be lifelong learners, always adapting and never resting on what they know. Leaders are both receptacles of information and libraries of information. At least that’s true of uncommon leaders.
Paradox one: uncommon leaders balance both confidence and humility
Herein lies the big idea: uncommon leaders possess inspiring confidence yet express it with palpable humility.
In today’s complex world, people look for anyone with a clear sense of confidence. Teams seldom move forward without seeing it in their leader. At the same time, people demand that a leader’s confidence not blind them to their own humanity. Leaders believe in themselves, but they don’t believe they can do it alone.
Dacher Keltner said, “The seductions of power induce us to lose the very skills that enabled us to gain power in the first place.”
