Abby Medcalf, a renowned psychologist, author and speaker, provides a deep dive into the reason why relationships fail and offers a transformative perspective on how to cultivate a fulfilling relationship.
She focuses on the concept of ‘giving 100%’ and the idea of viewing the couple as a shared resource, rather than competing entities.
The destructive power of competition
Engaging in a competitive dynamic in a relationship, where partners vie for resources such as time, money, and emotional support, can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction.
This prevents the establishment of a true partnership and a deep emotional connection.
When we take sides like this we start examining all the things our partners are doing or not doing and comparing to all the things we’re doing which of course are always more and better. – Abby Medcalf
The shared resource perspective
A pivotal shift in perspective is to view oneself and the partner as a single, shared resource.
This approach fosters trust, mutual understanding, and a deeper emotional connection, steering clear of the detrimental ‘score-keeping’ mindset.
