The secret to desire in a long-term relationship

In long-term relationships, the challenge of maintaining desire is a common issue.

Esther Perel, a renowned psychotherapist, provides insightful solutions, suggesting that sustaining desire requires reconciling conflicting needs for security and surprise.

She emphasizes the role of erotic intelligence, the importance of imagination, novelty, and curiosity, and the need to debunk the myth of spontaneity in committed sex.

The fading of good sex in long-term relationships

Even in relationships where love remains strong, good sex often fades over time.

This is not an indication of a lack of love but rather a common occurrence in long-term relationships.

Understanding this can help couples approach the issue without unnecessary guilt or blame.

The paradox of intimacy and good sex

Contrary to popular belief, intimacy does not guarantee good sex.

In fact, the familiarity and closeness that come with intimacy can sometimes dampen desire.

Therefore, maintaining a sense of mystery and surprise can help keep the spark alive.

The role of the forbidden and transgression in desire

Elements of the forbidden and transgression can make desire more potent and erotic.

This suggests that stepping out of comfort zones and exploring new territories in a relationship can enhance sexual desire.