The Tim Ferriss Show – Dr. Gabor Maté – The Myth of Normal

Suppressing our authentic feelings can have severe mental and physical health implications, but finding a balance between attachment and authenticity is essential for living a full and healthy life.

Handling trauma

• Healing can come from a variety of methods, and with love and understanding, trauma can be overcome.
• Self-care can help us find the courage to face our fears and achieve our goals.
• Recognizing and addressing past trauma is essential to healing and moving forward in a healthy way.
• Recognize, allow, investigate, and nurture emotions to understand healthy anger, and practice radical acceptance for self-acceptance without tolerating injustice.

Authentic feelings

• Suppressing our authentic feelings can have severe mental and physical health implications, but finding a balance between attachment and authenticity is essential for living a full and healthy life.
• Showing understanding and love can help a child learn to regulate their emotions.
• Rejecting external validation and competition, reconnecting with our true selves and nature, and seeking treatments are keys to avoiding trauma.

Self-Acceptance contd.

• Investigate the root cause of the emotion and nurture the part of you that had to suppress it.
• Radical Acceptance is a great tool to help with self-acceptance, but it doesn’t mean putting up with injustice and oppression.
• When we’re confronted with conflicting needs, like attachment and authenticity, it’s important to be mindful of our emotions and take care of ourselves.

Connect with nature

• Taking time to appreciate and connect with nature, understanding and working through trauma, and striving for a balance between attachment and authenticity can help us reconnect with ourselves.
• Trauma-informed approaches can be used to rehabilitate offenders, leading to transformation and healing without additional cost.
• With dedication and resources, inmates can make positive changes in maximum-security prisons and lead a successful life after release.

Understanding and Compassion for Self-Regulation

• The ability to regulate emotions is key to mental health and is something that can be inherited through sensitivity.
• While it is important to set boundaries and expectations, it is also important to be understanding and compassionate when a child expresses emotions.
• A good way to teach self-regulation is to model how to stay calm and understand how the child is feeling, while also helping them to understand that emotions come and go.

Quiet down

• Taking the time to quiet down and really listen to your inner voice can help you make decisions that are true to yourself.
• Learning to take time for yourself, pay attention to the inside and be authentic is key to fulfilling your inner calling.
• Taking risks, trusting the process and respecting your authenticity are key to achieving success.

Understanding Healthy Anger and Self-Acceptance

• Healthy anger is an essential boundary defense.
• It can be difficult to process strong emotions like rage, but it’s important to do so.
• Tara Brach’s RAIN method (recognize, allow, investigate, and nurture) is a great way to do this.
• First, recognize the emotion and what it’s doing to your body.
• Then, allow the experience to be present without acting it out or suppressing it.

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