When it comes to trying to persuade others, we often employ facts in an argument thinking they will change the mind of the other person. But that’s not how it works. Persuading others and even ourselves is about more than just putting facts out there and letting the chips fall as they may.

Persuading Others

Neil deGrasse Tyson argues that you have to understand what’s already in their head and how those ideas got there in the first place before you can change someone’s mind.

  • When we’re faced with a choice between being correct or being accepted, more often than not we choose the latter
  • Changing our mind is akin to a loss in social status

Psychological Safety

We need psychological safety in order to change our minds. We need to know that we’re not going to cease being part of the tribe.

  • When it comes to changing our minds two things that stand out are: (1) it’s best done by someone we like, and (2) group settings influence what we think.

Bottom Line

If you want to change your mind, you first have to see the world through the eyes of the other person.

  • Friends who agree with you on most things are the most likely to persuade you. They are even more likely if we’re not in a group setting.

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