Published in 2017, “Unfu*k Yourself” is a practical self-help book that offers seven chapters full of actionable advice on overcoming self-doubt and self-sabotage. Author Gary John Bishop emphasizes the power of self-talk and how to use it effectively in order to develop a winning mindset.
This book is perfect for anyone looking to create a comprehensive plan to take control of their life and achieve their goals.
The one closest to us
Who do you talk to the most?
- If you said your mom, you’re wrong—even if you call her seven times a day.
- If you said your best friend, you’re wrong—even if you live together.
- If you said the members of your most active WhatsApp group, you’re wrong—even if you’re sending them a hilarious meme right this second.
Uncertainty
Befriend uncertainty if you want to grow and seize new opportunities. Seeking certainty is a common addiction that hinders progress because anything new involves some degree of uncertainty. To live a stagnant-free life, embrace uncertainty and accept the possibility of judgment and failure.
Certainty is an illusion, so why not get comfortable with the inevitable and discover what awaits you in the amazing realm of uncertainty?
You are always with yourself
The person you talk to most is… yourself.
You have approximately 50,000 thoughts a day, and a lot of those thoughts occur within the context of self-talk.
You’re in a constant dialogue with yourself—whether you’re examining yourself in the mirror, working up the courage to talk to an attractive stranger at a bar, or second-guessing the contents of an important email.
The person you are closest to can be your best friend or your worst enemy, if you allow it to be so.
Overcome negative beliefs
To overcome negative beliefs, visualize how you’ll overcome them and make a plan. If you believe you’re a procrastinator, for instance, stop procrastinating and cultivate discipline.
Create a game plan and imagine how good you’ll feel when you accomplish your goals. The more you fill your mind with positive thoughts, the less room you’ll give to negative beliefs.
Remember: you are wired to win, so make sure the game you’re playing is the one you really want to win.
The Life you choose
You choose the life you live, and it’s important to be honest with yourself about unsatisfactory aspects. You may face major problems, like a dead-end job, or minor irritations, like a partner who doesn’t help with housework.
Even though you may feel like you didn’t choose these circumstances, if you’re willing to put up with them, you’re effectively choosing to live with them.
To invite willingness into your life, start by getting real about what you want to change and why you haven’t done anything about it. The only reason you haven’t made that change is because of you.
But this realization is liberating because it means you’re equally capable of manifesting the life you do want.
I got this
Life can be tough, and no amount of positive thinking can protect you from its challenges. However, your mindset can shape how you respond to difficult situations. Cultivating a positive outlook can help you deal with life’s problems without falling into depression and hopelessness.
The assertion “I got this” reminds you that you are strong enough to handle even the toughest challenges.
A creative visualization exercise can help you move from saying “I got this” to truly believing it. Imagine yourself standing in the middle of railroad tracks, with your past stretching behind you and your future ahead.
You are not your thoughts
Your thoughts don’t define you, your actions do. Positive self-talk can motivate you, but negative thoughts will always creep in. Don’t try to control your thoughts, just act positively anyway. Acting confidently can make you think and feel more confident.
Once you start doing the thing you were avoiding, it won’t be as bad as you feared, and that positive feedback will stick with you for the future. Don’t let negative thoughts hold you back – repeat the assertion “I am not my thoughts, I am what I do” and start taking action towards the life you want.
Your willingness
The first assertion to rewire your negative self-talk is, “I am willing.” If you’re feeling daunted by big changes, focus instead on the things you’re no longer willing to put up with. Being willing isn’t a magic wand, but it sets the stage for change to happen through work, persistence, and sacrifice.
If you really want to win, change the game. And guess what? You’re a winner.
How to feel like a winner
You may not feel successful, but you are winning at your own life even if you have doubts about your income or relationship status. For example, Jack yearns for lasting love but has experienced failed relationships and breakups, leading him to believe he’s unlovable.
When he finally finds someone, the relationship eventually crumbles, confirming his belief that he can’t maintain a lasting relationship.
We all have negative beliefs that hold us back, but we need to identify them to overcome them.
