Cognitive kindness is a generosity of spirit toward others’ minds and one’s own mind that proceeds from a fundamental valuing of our individual and collective cognitive abilities. Cognitive kindness honours our abilities to reason and understand, to imagine and create, to dream and design.
The Illusion of Transparency
- Studies suggest that people often overestimate the extent to which their thoughts, attitudes, and feelings are evident to others
- This phenomenon is known as the illusion of transparency
- In one study, participants induced to lie overestimated the degree to which others could tell that they were lying
- Another study, in which participants were asked to drink samples of both foul and good-tasting liquid, found that people who drank the foul-tastier liquid drank more than those who did not
The Possibility of Cognitive Kindness
- The illusion of transparency is only one finding about how our minds work. There are so many, many more. And each is a starting point for multiple paths toward cognitive kindness.
- What might be possible if we genuinely prioritized one another’s minds as the valuable, incredible resource that they are?
Broadcast Your Intentions
- Imagine this: You’re out for a walk and notice a car pull out of a parking space and approach the exit.
- You’re not sure whether the driver sees you or is planning to stop; the driver may be wondering something similar about you.
- Why not broadcast your intention to walk behind and not in front of the vehicle by angling your body accordingly and walking deliberately in that direction?
- By doing so, you’ve substantially reduced the challenge for the driver of accurately anticipating your next move
Use Your Words
Explicitly articulating what you’re thinking, feeling, and wondering is an even more direct approach toward cognitive kindness. Using our words can relieve others from the cognitive challenge of trying to figure out what we’re thinking and feeling.
If our internal states are in fact less obvious to others than we believe them to be, then being intentional and direct in communicating these can be a significant act of cognitive kindness.
