What is self-awareness? And how can you cultivate it?
When we see something we don’t immediately like in ourselves, our first reaction could be to defend ourselves from it, which is partly why self-awareness is so challenging. But what precisely does it mean to be self-aware? How did it emerge as a venerable trait and how do you cultivate it?
Self-Awareness
‘Self-awareness’ centers on recognizing and managing our emotions
- Self-awareness is the recognition of one’s own emotional state at any given point in time
- To the degree that we can manage our emotional states, we are better able to manage these other elements of our lives as well
Let your walls down
Let go of judgment and the instinctual urge to protect yourself.
Keep a journal and note what triggers positive feelings
Pay attention to your day and identify any negative feelings associated with the day
Take the ‘third-person’ perspective
Third person is particularly effective for people who are overly self-critical or who trend to be self-destructive
- Imagine yourself in that person’s place to improve self awareness, reduce defensiveness, and possibly improve your relationship with that person as well
Self-awareness is a vital skill in a fulfilling life
“In the past, [lack of self-awareness] might have been written off as a benign human quirk,” says Well. “Self-awareness may be the most vital skill we have to navigate our future challenges.”
- Duffy adds that “if you can manage your own emotions, you are more than likely able to exert an impact on the emotional vibe of a family, a work situation, or a social encounter.”
Keep checking in with yourself
The most effective method for the development of self-awareness is a pause and brief check-in with oneself
- How am I feeling right now? What do I think might be driving that feeling
- Carry a list of possible emotions with you as you begin this exercise
Be curious about who you are
To be self-aware, a person needs to be curious about themselves
Look in the mirror – literally
Use mirrors as a meditation tool that increases self-awareness
Keep learning – the journey never ends
Read and learn about the psychology and practices of self-awareness
- School of Life is a company that publishes books and novelty card sets that help explain in a very direct, clear and smart way the importance of building self knowledge and the impacts this has on everything else in life
Self-Awareness
We tend to think we’re self-aware – when we’re not
- Social scientists have discovered that people often grossly overestimate their level of self-awareness
- Many people “feel that they know and understand themselves much better than they actually do.”
Substitute some screen time with people time
We need reflections to develop our sense of self in relation to others
- As we spend more time alone and on our devices, we miss this essential human mirroring
- The symptoms of lack of mirroring are becoming more apparent in our society: increases in anxiety, lack of empathy and intense self-objectification
Ask others how they see you
Talk to your closest loved ones and be courageous enough to ask how they perceive you in various situations
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