Most of us are so busy waiting for someone to love us that we’ve forgotten about the one person we need to love first-ourselves. “Your task is not to seek for love, but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi
The People Who Were to Have Loved Us
When the love you’ve known has been physically harmful, emotionally painful, and psychologically scarring, how do you love another person?
- Find ways to love yourself first
- Loving yourself first before searching for love in your life
Be kind to yourself
Learn to accept yourself, shortcomings and all, even if your family and previous partners may have berated you about your inadequacies
- Focus on your many positive qualities, strengths, your abilities, and your admirable traits
- Let go of harsh judgments, comparisons, and self-hatred
Be grateful
Rhonda Byrne, author of The Magic, shares a powerful way to change all of our relationships and our life
- Practice gratefulness and regularly count your blessings
- “When you’re grateful for the things you have, no matter how small they may be, you will see those things instantly increase,” Byrne says
Feel the love within you and be that love
Spend more time focusing on self-love
Give yourself in service to others
When you think about kindness toward others and being love to others, you open the door to divine love.
- Practice conscious acts of kindness and giving. The love you are sharing in the form of service will help you feel more love and fulfillment in your life.
Give yourself a break
You’re not perfect. No one is. Embrace your imperfections and excuse your bad days.
Embrace yourself
Practice moments of alone time and be aware of how you treat yourself.
- Self-discovery can happen through the process of clinical therapy or counseling. This healing process can help you discover who you are and what your obstacles to loving yourself are.
