Why Is Everyone Talking About ‘Gaslighting’? Here’s What It Means and How to Spot It

Gaslighting, a term that's been buzzing around lately, is more than just a trending topic. It's a form of psychological manipulation that can have serious implications. Let's delve into its meaning and learn how to identify it.

Gaslighting is a term used to describe the act of using psychological manipulation to get another person to question their own feelings, perception, or sanity.

Usually gaslighting is behavior used by a person trying to persuade someone to stay in an unhealthy romantic relationship, but it can occur in any relationship where one party is dependent on another, both professional and personal, and either online or in-person.

Stages of gaslighting

Disbelief: You can’t believe your partner is saying such silly things or trying to tell you there’s something wrong with you

• Defense: You constantly defend yourself
• Depression: You become more isolated and avoid conversations about your relationship and anything that might trigger the gaslighting

Signs of possible gaslighting

Constantly second-guessing yourself

• Apologizing to your family and to your employer
• Making excuses for your partner’s behavior
• Hiding information from family and friends
• Difficulty making simple decisions
• Feeling hopeless and joyless
• Not good enough

Examples of Gaslighting

Gaslighters use deceit, coercion, and manipulation to further their own goals and make the other person (or people) question their own perception of reality and the validity of their own feelings.

• Emotional abuse can turn into emotional abuse-and can lead to neglect and even physical abuse.

How to Confront It and Stop the Gaslighting

Try sharing your interactions with others to get an outside opinion

• If gaslighting becomes pervasive, you should seek professional help together from a licensed psychotherapist to help you break the cycle of abuse
• Address your partner’s gaslighting behavior directly, but only if you’re ready to demand change in their behavior-and to walk away from the relationship if those changes are not made

Recognizing Gaslighting

The tell-tale sign of gaslighting is persistent external blame placement that causes you to question what really happened

• Gaslighting can often lead to feelings of having done something wrong, or that you’re being too sensitive
• When a relationship is based on love and respect, a gaslighter’s action can be seen as an opportunity for self-reflection and change-but no one should have to be the only person in the relationship who’s ever wrong or has to apologize

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