Why Is Gratitude So Hard for Some People?
There are many benefits to being grateful. Gratitude is good for your psychological well-being, your relationships, and possibly even your physical health. However, some people have more grateful dispositions than others. Research suggests that these differences may be rooted in our brains, genes, and even our personalities
Your grateful genes
Genetics may help explain why some people find it easier to feel and express gratitude than others
- Identifying specific genes may underlie a person’s grateful disposition
- One promising candidate is a gene, CD38, involved in the secretion of the neuropeptide oxytocin
- Differences in this gene were significantly associated with the quality and frequency of expressions of gratitude toward a romantic partner in both the lab and in regular daily life
How to build the gratitude muscle
Gratitude interventions can have positive benefits for people in terms of well-being, happiness, life satisfaction, grateful mood, grateful disposition, and positive affect
- There’s even some evidence from neuroscience that suggests how practicing gratitude can change your brain
- Practicing gratitude may increase brain activity related to predicting how our actions affect other people
Your grateful (or less grateful) brain
There may be differences in brain structure and activity between more and less grateful people
- One study found that people who are more prone to gratitude have more gray matter in their right inferior temporal cortex, an area previously linked to interpreting other people’s intentions
- Brains of people who expressed more gratitude in a lab setting had more activity in brain areas associated with feelings of reward when they were told that a charity would receive money
Personality pitfalls
Certain personality factors can also act as barriers to gratitude
- Envy, materialism, narcissism, and cynicism can be thought of as “thieves of thankfulness”
- It may be difficult or impossible for people to be both grateful and envious at the same time
- Narcissism and materialism may even cause people’s gratitude to degrade over time
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