Unraveling the complex tapestry of dreams, we delve into the paradoxical realm where not all aspirations serve our best interests. A journey that challenges conventional wisdom, exploring why some dreams, despite their allure, might best remain unchased.
Romantic love is a justification for neurotic behavior
We are told to pursue our dreams, always follow our passions, always turn reality into what we believe will make us happy
- You deserve your dreams. You owe it to yourself to pursue them at all costs. Achieve your dreams and they will finally make you happy once and for all.
Reality is always messy
We believe that our dreams will solve all of our current problems without recognizing that they will simply create new variants of the same problems we experience now.
- Two guidelines that can help: fall in love with the process, not the result
- What’s motivating you? Take a long, hard look at what’s really driving you. Is it some compensation for an unmet need? Or is it a genuine expression of enthusiasm and joy?
- Sometimes we’d be better off dealing with our shit in the present instead of pursuing some ideal in the future.
Purpose of Fantasy
According to research, at least 30% of women fantasize about being raped at some point
- One reason for this is the desire to feel a loss of control
- Losing control in reality is dangerous
- It’s only possible to lose control and stay safe within the confines of one’s own mind
- Not every fantasy should be pursued because fantasies never have negative repercussions
- Reality does
Sometimes wanting something is better than having it
For most of her adolescence and young adulthood, Lisa fantasized about being a musician – a rock star, in particular.
- Despite fantasizing about this for over half of her life, the reality never came, and it took her a long time to figure out why – she didn’t actually want it.
- The rock star fantasy has less to do with actually rocking out on stage than simply feeling acknowledged and appreciated.
