Success, a universally sought-after phenomenon, often carries an unexpected aftertaste. Let's delve into the paradoxical realm where triumph and bitterness coexist, exploring the psychological intricacies that make our victories sometimes feel less sweet than anticipated.
Achieving a goal and achieving happiness are two entirely different things
Goal attainment can even bring problems
- Some researchers have argued that when a goal is a true end point for progress, the cessation of forward motion can lead to a feeling of emptiness, exactly what Shcherbakova described in Beijing
- Even if you achieve your goal, you are very unlikely to achieve the happiness you’re after
- Worse than feeling nothing, you might subject yourself to what the self-improvement writer Stephanie Rose Zoccatelli calls the “post-achievement hangover”
- A feeling of restlessness and mild depression in the days after a major milestone, such as graduating from college or getting married
- Progress, not meeting a goal, is what brings true happiness
Can you take one step at a time?
Break your long-term goals into smaller chunks-even into goals for individual days if possible.
- Point your efforts toward where you want to be in a year, but don’t dwell on that destination. Enjoy the daily and weekly milestones that you know are getting you there.
Are you enjoying the journey?
Instead of single-mindedly chasing a goal, focus more on whether you’re getting anything out of your progress right now
- For example, about 20 years ago, I set a goal to get in better shape. Within about two months, I found that I enjoyed it, and it became something I looked forward to each morning.
Do you like pie?
The point of a good goal is to improve your quality of life by changing your day-to-day for the better, not to limp across the finish line and stop after a terrible ordeal
- Working toward a goal is a lot like that pie-eating contest
- Quit drinking and continue to live in a healthy way
