Achieving a better balance between professional and personal priorities boils down to a combination of reflexivity—or questioning assumptions to increase self-awareness—and intentional role redefinition. This is not a one-time fix but rather a cycle that we must engage in continuously as our circumstances and priorities evolve. This cycle is made up of five distinct steps:

Pause and denormalize

Take a step back and ask yourself:

  • What is currently causing me stress, unbalance, or dissatisfaction?
  • How are these circumstances affecting how I perform and engage with my job? How are they impacting my personal life?
  • What am I prioritizing?

Consider your alternatives

Before jumping into solutions, first, reflect on the aspects of your work and life that could be different in order to better align with your priorities.

Implement changes

Once you’ve recognized your priorities and carefully considered the options that could help you improve, it’s time to take action. That can mean a “public” change — something that explicitly shifts your colleagues’ expectations— or a “private” change, in which you informally change your work patterns without necessarily attempting to change your colleagues’ expectations.

Pay attention to your emotions

  • A rational understanding of the decisions and priorities driving your life is important, but equally important is emotional reflexivity – the capacity to recognize how a situation is making you feel.
  • Awareness of your emotional state is essential in determining the changes you want to make in your work and in your life.

Reprioritize

Increasing your cognitive and emotional awareness gives you the tools you need to put things into perspective and determine how your priorities need to be adjusted.

Ask yourself: What am I willing to sacrifice, and for how long? If I have been prioritizing work over family, for example, why do I feel that it is important to prioritize my life in this way? Is it really necessary?

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