Creating healthy boundaries doesn’t just solve an immediate problem of someone wanting more than you can give, it actually can re-shape how you see yourself, your relationships, and the people with whom you have built these relationships. When we create boundaries that reflect who we are and what we value, they can change our lives.
Benefits of Boundary Benefits
We experience less anger or resentment towards people because we are able to accept that everyone is entitled to set boundaries
- Boundaries allow for improved communication
- Clearer boundaries mean less room for misunderstandings or “guilt trips” when you are asked to defend or clarify them
- Clear boundaries result in others having a better understanding and greater acceptance of you
Types of Boundaries and What They Look Like
Physical: “Don’t get so close to me.”
- Emotional: “Please don”t criticize me when I share my feelings.”
- Time: ‘I can only stay for an hour.’ ‘Do you have time to help me figure this out?”
- Sexual: ’We need to use contraception if we’re going to start sleeping together.‘’
- Ethical
- Intellectual
- Financial
- Spiritual
- When someone intentionally crosses a boundary, it can be a form of abuse as abuse can take shape in all of these ways
Communicating Boundaries May Take Practice
It may take some reflection and consideration to determine where you feel your boundaries should be
- When you’re ready to name and share a particular boundary with others, be sure to use “I-statements” to emphasize that the boundaries are yours to set and maintain
- These sentence stems allow you to take ownership of the boundary you are setting without sending someone on the defensive
