Embarking on a journey to establish healthy boundaries with parents can be challenging yet rewarding. Discover the six crucial steps that can guide you towards this goal, and gain insights into what these boundaries might look like in real-life scenarios.
Setting boundaries with parents
Healthy boundaries involve mutual acknowledgment that you are an adult with your own thoughts, opinions, beliefs, experiences, and needs
- Examples of poor boundaries include: unexpected and frequent visits from parents, unhelpful advice about your partner, and comments about your diet or body
- Good boundaries involve: identifying your own unique values, being able to act in a way that is consistent with your beliefs, being clear on what you need, and establishing rules on how you would like to be treated
Setting boundaries with parents can stir up feelings of doubt, fear, and guilt
Guilt can be an indicator that we feel like we are doing something wrong, and it’s important to fully know that setting boundaries with your parents is not wrong.
- At the end of the day, you get to decide your boundaries and your terms
Practice being concise
Being assertive involves stating how you feel and what you need without trying to hurt the other person
- At the same time, being compassionate is also important
- When setting a boundary with your parent, show appreciation toward what you are grateful for in the relationship, and perhaps the intent behind their behaviors
Take the time to be clear about what you are willing to tolerate and not tolerate from them
If the conversation isn’t going in a direction that is helpful or productive, know when to end it
- Pay attention to how you are feeling and how much discomfort is healthy for you to tolerate
- Feel like you need a break or walk away
