Unravel the intricate web of emotions and compliance as we delve into the bias from liking/loving. Discover how affection sways our decisions and why we often find ourselves bending to the will of those we hold dear.
The decisions that we make are rarely impartial
Most of us already know that we prefer to take advice from people that we like.
- We also tend to more easily agree with opinions formed by people we like
- The tendency to judge in favor of people and symbols we like is called the bias from liking or loving
- Besides the liking tendency, there are several other factors at play: commitment/consistency bias, a bias from stress, an influence from authority, a reciprocation effect, and some direct incentives and disincentives
Appearance and the Halo Effect
The Halo Effect occurs when a specific, positive characteristic determines the way a person is viewed by others on other, unrelated traits.
- In the case of beauty, we automatically assign favorable yet unrelated traits such as talent, kindness, honesty, and intelligence, with those we find physically attractive. For the most part, this attribution happens unnoticed.
Loving by Association and Referral
Charisma or attraction are not prerequisites for liking – a mere association with someone you like or trust can be enough
- The bias from association shows itself in many other domains and is especially strong when we associate with the person we like the most – ourselves
- For example, a sports fan and his local team can be highly personal even though the association is often based only on shared location
- Even a trivial association with success may reap benefits and breed confidence
Similarity
We like people who resemble us
- Whether it’s appearance, opinions, lifestyle or background, we tend to favor people who on some dimension are most similar to ourselves
- Similarity bias extends to even such ambiguous traits as interests and background
- Even if the similarities are superficial, we still may end up liking the other person more than we should
Can We Avoid Liking?
Someone who is conditioned to like the right people and pick their idols carefully can greatly benefit from these biases
- The time to call out the defense is when we feel ourselves liking the practitioner more than we should under the circumstances under which we feel manipulated
- Focus on our feelings rather than the other person’s actions
- Ask yourself how much of what you feel is due to liking versus the actual facts of the situation
Praise and Compliments
We love to be loved and, consequently, we love those that love us.
- Joe Girard, the world’s “greatest car salesman”, prints “I like you” and his name on every holiday card he sends out
- Our reaction can be so automatic, that we develop liking even when the attempt to win our favor is an obvious one
Familiarity
Repeated exposure can be a powerful tool in establishing liking.
- Take a picture of yourself and create a mirror image in one of the editing tools. Choose which one you like better
- Show the two pictures to a friend and ask her to choose the better one as well. Your friend will prefer the true print, whereas you will think you look better in the mirror image
