Defensiveness can often hinder effective communication. Learning to listen without getting defensive is a skill that can transform relationships and foster understanding. Let's delve into strategies that can help you master this crucial aspect of communication.

Really taking the time to listen to how another person feels-without immediately and sometimes impulsively reacting-creates the space for both parties to feel heard and then to show up with kindness and a more mindful ear.

While mindfully listening, you might still come up against distractions and triggers, but you can practice noticing your distractibility without judgment and try to redirect your attention to the speaker and the words flowing from them.

How to Practice Mindful Listening

Find a partner for this exercise

  • Set a timer for two minutes
  • One person begins to speak about how they feel about the relationship or about anything at all
  • The listening partner practices listening
  • After two minutes, the listener takes a moment to quickly jot down one to three key points the speaker presented as well as what, if anything, they noticed triggering them or distracting them from listening

Mindful Staff

Our guide to reflecting on the relationships in your life and opening yourself up to the opportunity for love to grow.

  • Shalini Bahl-Milne
  • A practice to help you ensure you can be mindfully present for these difficult moments
  • Barry Boyce
  • Relationships

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