With so many uncertainties stemming from the current pandemic, you might be looking for more human connection and comfort from friends and family. While it’s good to check in with loved ones more regularly, simply asking how they are doing might not be enough to show true empathy. There are alternative ways to inquire about how someone is doing that are empathetic and open-ended.

How can I support you?

Ask them how you can help

  • Even if they don’t allow you to do anything special for them, express that you are there for moral support and are willing to help if need be
  • Sometimes, it can be comforting just to know you are ready to support them

I’ve been thinking about you

Tell someone you’ve been on your mind

Are you free for a virtual coffee chat?

Having authentic one-on-one time is an ideal way to reconnect and make sure your friend is doing okay

What were your highs and lows this week?

Open a discussion about your high moments and lows

  • This will allow you to vent about your main pain points and also make you aware of positive things that happened too
  • It will definitely help boost your mood.

Are you holding up OK?

This is a good way to start the conversation with an undertone of empathy; you’re recognizing that they might not be doing too well right now, and you’re interested in knowing exactly how they’re getting by

What’s been on your mind lately?

Allow your colleague to vent and hear what’s been bothering them

  • This will show that you care and are open to hearing about their inner thoughts and feelings
  • Listen intently and take what’s bothering them as a sign of respect

How are you taking care of yourself these days?

Spark a conversation about your friend or family member’s self-care routine. Know what they’re currently doing to create a little positivity during tough times to give you a better sense for how you can also console or take care of them.

Is there anything I can help take care of?

Ask your friend if there is a specific task or activity that you can do to take the pressure off of them.

Tell me about your day

This is an open-ended way to ask someone how they’re doing

  • By inquiring about their day, you are creating the space for them to talk about whatever has affected their mood or feelings most recently
  • You might be able to find more immediate ways to help and support them, knowing what’s irritating or distressing them

What’s bringing you joy right now?

Remind your friend that there is still something that’s good and redeeming to be grateful for.

  • Even if they answer with something miniscule-like “I had a great cup of coffee this morning”-pulling an example out of them to see that there’s joy to be found, even when struggling

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