How to Reframe Passive-Aggressive Communication
In many life situations, including in the workplace, feelings of frustration and anger can surface. The desire to avoid confrontation and stifle these emotions is a common response. However, when those strong feelings are left unaddressed, it can manifest as passive-aggressive communication.
What is passive-aggressive communication?
Passive-aggressive behavior surfaces in different ways. It is sometimes used with the intent of secretly getting back at the person or group on the receiving end; other times, the passive-aggression is not deliberate.
- It might present through body language, like eye rolling, exaggerated sighs, or through written remarks.
It’s not that complicated
Use this instead: I can clarify.
Underlying reasons for passive-aggressive communication
This type of behavior can arise when someone doesn’t feel comfortable or capable of expressing their feelings in an open, honest, straightforward manner
Use this instead:
I don’t feel good about this. Can we talk about it in person?
Passive Aggression
How does passive-aggressive behavior affect others?
Use this instead
This alternative signals that you’re willing to problem-solve with your coworker, and it promotes team cooperation
How to soften passive-aggressive communication
Ask yourself two questions: how would I feel if I was on the receiving end of this message and is this message helpful?
- Grammarly can help you fine-tune your tone to be more empathetic
- By analyzing your word choice, phrasing, punctuation, and even capitalization, the tone detector can identify the tone of your message before you hit send
Per my last email
I’m following up on my previous email regarding… This phrasing is effective if you’ve sent the recipient a message asking for something, but they haven’t given a timely response.
- The alternative statement names the specific thing you are trying to address without forcing the recipient to guess.
For future reference… Use this instead
Asking for their thoughts about different ways to approach a situation in the future softens the accusatory, passive-aggressiveness of asking for their opinion
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