When they know they’re “going to the doctor,” many kids worry a bit about the visit. Whether they’re going to see their primary care doctor for a routine checkup or a specialist for a problem, kids might have fears or even feel guilty. Here’s how to help your child talk about and overcome any worries.
Worries Do Kids Have About Medical Exams?
Separation: Kids often fear that their parents may leave them in the exam room and wait in another room. This fear of separation during mysterious exams is most common in kids under 7 years old, but can worry older kids too.
- Pain: Kids may worry that a part of the exam or a medical procedure will hurt. The doctor: Some kids’ concerns may be about the doctor’s manner. A kid may misinterpret qualities such as speed, efficiency, or a detached attitude and view them as sternness, dislike, or rejection. The unknown: Kids sometimes worry a medical problem is much worse than their parents are telling them.
Talk About Why You’re Going
When explaining the purpose of the visit, talk about the doctor in a positive way
- If you’re going to a regular health checkup, explain that it’s a well-child visit.
- Explain that all healthy kids go to the doctor for such visits.
How Can Kids Be Part of the Process?
Prepare information for the doctor
- If the situation isn’t an emergency, your child can help make a list of symptoms
- Write down questions
- List things that have worked and things that haven’t worked in previous treatment
Talk About Any Negative Feelings
Discuss the health problem in neutral language and reassure your child: “This isn’t caused by anything you did or forgot to do. Illnesses like this happen to many kids. Aren’t we lucky to have doctors who can find the causes and know how to help us get well?”
- If you, your partner, other relatives, or friends had (or have) the same condition, share this information to ease fears.
How Should I Choose a Doctor?
Choose a doctor carefully
- Smart and competent
- Understand kids’ needs and fears
- Communicate easily with them
- Be open to changing doctors if they seem critical, uncommunicative, disinterested, or unsympathetic
What Should Kids Know About Routine Checkups?
Children learn best during play
- Use a doll or teddy bear to show a young child how the nurse will measure height and weight or demonstrate parts of the routine exam
- Role-playing to show how the doctor might: use a blood pressure cuff to “hug the arm” look in the mouth (and will need to hold the tongue down with a special stick for just a few seconds to see the throat) look at the eyes and into the ears
- Listen to the chest and back with a stethoscope
What Should Kids Know About Other Exams?
Be honest if you know that a procedure might be somewhat embarrassing, uncomfortable, or even painful
- Reassure your child that you’ll be there and that the procedure is truly necessary to fix the problem
- Make sure your child understands that the doctor visit is not a punishment for any misbehavior
