Unravel the intricacies of maintaining robust relationships in 'The Art of Friendship: How to Keep Your Connections Strong'. Discover the delicate balance between giving and taking, the importance of communication, and the art of being there without being overbearing.
Friendships are love stories too.
Michael Boamah met Angela Natividad at a company party, and they quickly discovered they had more in common than their job titles
- They kept up through direct messages, emails, and text messages
- Letters became their primary form of communication
- The art of letter writing allows them to go deeper to discuss personal lives, spirituality, and moments that have moved them
- When they reunite, one person attempts to place a clothespin on someone else unnoticed, and the person who clings to the clothespin remains “it” until they stealthily pass it on at their next meet-up
Don’t avoid conflict
If you cut others off at the slightest sign of an issue, many of your friendships won’t last.
- When a friend continually does something that you don’t like, instead of saying nothing, talk about it from a place of love and express that you’re bringing it up because you want to stay close.
Get clear on whom you cherish
Maintaining friendships may feel hard for you if you are juggling more than you have the capacity for in your life
- Richardson encourages everyone to write a list that resembles their “MySpace Top 10” – with the prominent people in their lives with whom they want to spend the most time.
- When you’ve created that list, let those friends know how much it means to you that they’ve stuck by your side for so long.
Find your anchor
Topic of interest you have in common that you can both continuously reach out about
Create a social infrastructure
Create a standing time for socializing without the need to plan it
- If you already have social infrastructure built into your calendar, it alleviates the burden and energy drain of constantly figuring out a time that works for everyone
- It’s very hard to reach out to people when you’re lonely
Set surprise reminders
For events or occasions happening in your friend’s life, set a secret reminder to wish them luck or to cheer them on, or to provide extra emotional support, such as doctor’s appointments or a work presentation, find out the date, and send a secret message to wish your friend luck.
Lean into the hard times
Being there for your friends during theirs is something they won’t forget.
- If you don’t give to other people, and if you’re not nourishing the people in your life, who’s to say you’ll have people who are there for you when you’re going through difficult times?
Be willing to adjust
If a weekly meetup doesn’t work for you or your friend, Richardson suggests being prepared with another offer that allows you to meet in the middle
- Discuss why recurring hangouts are important
- “I find when I schedule things, I get to do the things that are the most important to me.”
Skip the small talk
You can spend less time with a friend and still feel close to them if you are both willing to get more vulnerable more quickly
