The Best Way to Deal With a Flaky Friend
Most people have at least one flaky person in their life, whether it’s a friend, family member, or co-worker. They may have the best intentions when they say “yes” or may not feel comfortable saying “no,” but the result is the same: They’ll agree to something, only to flake out at the last minute.
Flakiness has a number of underlying reasons
As long as there aren’t any other warning signs, it’s okay to cut your friend a little bit of slack
- If a friend can accept you, foibles and all, then you can accept them, flakiness and all
Give them the time and space to say “no”
Don’t pressure someone to do something they don’t want to do
- If you’re making the request expecting a commitment answer right away, give them the space and time so they can give the answer that works for them
- Respect their decision
If something is really important to you, let them know
Let your friend know.
- A good friend will do their best to show up for you in the moments that matter, even if they may be a little late. Remember that everyone has trouble with commitments sometimes, and some people struggle more than others.
Are they there when it matters?
My own personal gauge for whether or not I keep a flaky person in my life is whether they have been there for me during the times that matter.
- If they can be counted on to show up for major milestones, emergencies, or other important life events, then I’m willing to accept a bit of flakiness.
Avoiding putting people on the spot
It’s tough for some people to have a set of eyes on them with the implicit expectation that they’ll say “yes” to an invitation
- If you’re aware that your friend tends to say “yes” in those situations only to later flake out, encourage them to take some time before giving an answer
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