Why overly kind and moral people can rub you up the wrong way

Ever wondered why excessively kind and moral individuals sometimes irk you? It's a paradox that challenges our understanding of human nature and morality. Let's delve into the psychology behind this intriguing phenomenon.

Do-gooders are often judged harshly

This is known as “do-gooder derogation”

• There are compelling evolutionary reasons for being wary of unreciprocated altruism
• Understanding our innate suspicion around overt acts of kindness, we can identify the specific situations in which generosity is welcomed and when it is resented

Reciprocity and Reputation

According to evolutionary psychology, hardwired human behaviors should have evolved to improve our survival and our ability to pass on our genes to another generation

• In the case of altruism, generous acts could help us to foster good relationships within the group which, over time, help to build social capital and status
• Reputation can lead to benefits such as occupying a more central position in the social network
• Importantly, however, reputation is “positional” – if one person rises, the others fall

Ulterior motives

An apparent act of generosity that seems to be driven by self-interest could therefore lead us to score rather badly on those other qualities.

• If there’s no good evidence to suggest that their acts of generosity are self-serving, we may choose to give them the benefit of the doubt, knowing that our uncharitable intuitions may be fuelled by our own fears of losing status.

The experiment

The participants were divided into groups of four, and each person was given tokens representing a small sum of money

• Participants were then given the possibility of contributing some of that income to a communal pool in each round of a game
• After 10 rounds, the researchers therefore gave the participants the option of penalising other players by deducting some of the income they received

An apparent act of generosity that seems to be driven by self-interest can make others who aren’t doing the same deed bristle

In a similar public goods game, participants were asked whether they would like to kick members out of their group.

• Astonishingly, the most altruistic participants were also targeted – even though they were contributing more than their fair share to the others’ riches.

Source