Why the “velvet hammer” is a better way to give constructive criticism
Joy Baldridge, author of The Joy in Business: Innovative Ideas to Find Positivity (and Profit) In Your Daily Work Life, suggests using her “velvet hammer” method, which is soft like velvet but packs a punch. It’s time to bag the sandwich method of delivering bad news.
Here’s the formula
Start with, “Got a minute? Great. I need your help.”
- Say you need their help because your behavior is becoming problematic.
- Next, say, “I noticed that [problem behavior goes here.] (Pause) I was wondering what’s causing this problem (pause) What do you suggest we do?”
Why It Works
People still use the velvet hammer because they’re nervous about being too critical
- Giving negative feedback is important in many situations
- When something needs to be said, most people in the organization know it and everyone needs to hear it except for the person who needs the feedback
Before You Try It
Every word should be carefully selected
- Practice using the velvet hammer
- Set the expectation by saying, ‘This cannot continue,'” she says
- Asking, ‘What do you suggest we do?’ makes the point that it’s us against the problem, instead of me versus you
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